


Strangle that Stranger

by Jakey_kun



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Jake is done, No one has time for your bull Dirk, Older Alpha Bro, So it's dirkjake if you squint, Somebody has probably already done this, and use a microscope, and zoom in to 100, i am ashamed, obnoxious teen Dirk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-02
Updated: 2015-07-02
Packaged: 2018-04-07 07:07:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4254042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jakey_kun/pseuds/Jakey_kun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You can’t hold back the growl in your voice, and you want very much to reach through the phone line and strangle this stranger. You’ve had quite enough of this punk.</p><p> </p><p>(Or the short cracky story in which Dirk is one of those boys who scours the world for overdone jokes, and Jake is the sad recipient.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Strangle that Stranger

**Author's Note:**

> I needed this. Someone has most likely made this a thing, but I couldn't help myself.

“Hello, My name is Jake, how can I assist you?”  You adjust your glasses excitedly. Today is going to be  _the_ greatest day of your life. You were hired for your dream job, and you cannot be happier about it. You even get to keep your casual Khaki shorts and t-shirt outfits!  What  more could you ask for? You sigh happily, almost forgetting about the customer you’re supposed to be helping on the phone.   
  
The person snorts, “Yeah right.”   
  
You bristle unpleasantly, and furrow your eyebrows at them, forgetting that  they can’t see you.  “Excuse me?” It’s a struggle to keep your voice pleasant.  
  
“I said ‘Yeah right’. No way is your name Jake. Really man, how dumb do you think I am?”  
  
Well, to be honest, the answer is very, but you don’t want to lose your dream job because of one obnoxious man.  “Is there something wrong with my name, Sir?”   
  
“Not if your name is actually Jake.”   
  
“It IS! That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you!” You can’t hold back the growl in your voice, and you want very much to reach through the phone line and strangle this stranger. You’ve had quite enough of this punk.  
  
“Uhuh, prove it.” You don’t like his tone of voice at all. He sounds awfully condescending, like you’re a child. How dare he, you’ll show him!  
  
“My name is Jake Tellerius English. I’m 28, was born in July, My favorite holiday is Halloween, because kids in costume are adorable, and one is never too old to join in the delights of Lara croft cosplay. My-”  
  
“Ok, ok.. You’ve made your point. You’re Jake.”   
  
There’s a pause, and you smirk to yourself. You’re not too shabby, English. First day on the job? Complete success. They can throw anything at you, and you’ll rebound like a freaking ball.  “Now, is there anything I can actually help you with?”   
  
“Yeah, actually. Just hold on.”    
  
You smile,and get ready to show off your knowledge.  
  
You hear the muffled sounds of what sounds like him putting the phone down. Maybe he had to go get something?  “BRO, ROSE! GUYS, C’MERE, IT’S LITERALLY JAKE.  FROM STATE FARM! NO BULL THIS TIME! GUYS!!”  
  
You sigh and hang up.  


* * *

  
  
When the phone has rang for the 9th time today with different people getting stuck on your name instead of on the help you are supposed to be giving, you are ready to chuck it across the room.   
  
Maybe it's time to find a new job.   
  


**Author's Note:**

> Officially known as the worst Fic I have ever written. It's not even funny. XD Maybe a little.


End file.
